4th of july, other random thoughts, and a new blog?

i took this picture during my fam’s 4th of july weekend trip. one thing i became a bit fascinated with was the effect heavy rain and wind create on car windows. maybe it’s not so spectacular, but in my mind it’s pretty cool.

summation of my 4th of july: ate at two cool restaurants, saw some interesting austin people (and was reminded why i like austin), ended up on an unexpected mini-roadtrip on some nice country highways through some lovely fields during the late afternoon (think sunset + fields = prrretttyyy) on the 4th, went through some cool little towns, texted/called some of my friends back home pretty intensely during that mini-roadtrip, desperately wished i could be back at home with my friends (they were pretty much ALL at a 4th of july party), also i discovered that the beach boys wore skinny jeans, caught a few fireworks (saw some, that is – but i *do* have mystical fireworks-catching powers), and decided that one day i want to take a road trip through texas.

unfortunately, it wasn’t quite as interesting as it sounds. but definitely made for an experience.

random thoughts: i’m realizing a few things right now, as i am officially in i-don’t-have-much-to-do-with-my-time-summer-mode. it causes me to be overly reflective, thinking about things that bothered me during the school year but i didn’t have enough time to deal with. anyway, one of the things i’m realizing is that i have too many expectations. (i could say ‘great expectations’, but that sounds cheesy, and i hated that book.) there’s lots of things i want to do with my life, even though i don’t know what i want to do with it, if that makes any sense. and i want to ‘do things’ with my life (other than go through the motions, that is) ASAP. problem is, i think about that, how awesome it would be to be doing this or that, and i forget that 1) whatever this or that is, it’s most likely impossible right now or in the near future. 2) i may not ever do anything that *i* deem as ’significant’ with my life. it doesn’t matter what is significant to me, it matters what is significant to God. 3) what i DO have is RIGHT NOW. not life-that-could-me-much-more-fulfilling-if-i-was-doing-this-or-that, but what i’m living right now. i may not be doing things that i think are ‘important’ right now, but that does not make this time, which i have, any less ‘important.’ in fact, it may make it more important. i don’t know. it’s not up to me to decide. 4) thinking in such a way makes me more dissatisfied with what i have right now. if i am looking to some future that doesn’t even exist, i am not only overlooking what i have, but i am making it seem not-good-enough.

by no means do i have it all sorted out, but i’ve realized a few things about myself and my ways of thinking that are totally wrong. it’s one thing to ‘dream’ or have aspirations and big plans. it’s another thing to let those thoughts take away your appreciation for what God has given you right now.

and about the blog: i have a new blog in the works. but it’s mostly just ‘in the works.’ so no link here, yet…