piano…? umm…

sarah really hasn’t practiced in the last 2 weeks.

sarah feels guilty about this.

she has things she has to work on over the summer.

but she feels even more guilty that she doesn’t want to practice.

but she actually does want to practice – at least part of her does.

sarah really needs to practice.

oh my. why am i so complicated and… musician-ish?

while i have been not practicing, i’ve been doing things like going to lots of graduation events and sleeping in scandalously late (the sad thing is, i try to get up earlier. but i keep doing that thing where you see what time it is and think ‘i’ve got to wake up,’ and start to get up, but next thing you know you’re waking up again and it’s almost noon. what’s up with that?). i’ve also been doing massive cleaning and organizing of all my stuff. i’ve decided that going through a very cluttered room is a lot like what i go through when writing a big paper. there’s so many little things, and you don’t know where to start. it’s very frustrating, but i’m slowly getting my way-too-many wordly possessions downsized.

all the graduation things lately have got me thinking about my graduation (which will hopefully only be 3 years from now) from *gulp* college. that just sounds scary. three years is not very long at all, and i know it will be here very quickly. yikes.

so i guess i better get practicing…

i am so ADD

when i have to write a paper.

even when it’s not a very hard one.

focus….

blog, meet April. April, meet blog.

and…

happy birthday to me. (a few days belated.)

do i feel any different?

no. thankfully i was only asked that question once or twice this time. i do feel more tired and stressed than last week, but i doubt it has anything to do with being a year older. =p

it was a pretty good day, even if it was spent mostly by running around from class to class like i do everyday. it was a better school day than most. and a lot of people that i don’t really talk to said ‘happy birthday,’ all because of facebook. i think that’s pretty cool.

now i get to go write papers (yes! more than one), analyze music (so i can write papers on that too), go to the music store (to get some music for a possible audition), go to something at school (maybe – if i have time), ahhh! no time for fun. not that i would be having fun if i didn’t have so much to do this weekend. i would probably be wasting time, doing nothing, because unfortunately that’s what i want to do after a week of school. i’m so lazy! ahh!

that was really rambling and it had no point. oh well! such is life sometimes.

headache

my head hurts. it started hurting in my 8:00 class during the test. grrr.  (grrr about the headache more than the test, which i think went pretty well.)

i actually wrote a post a few days ago, but just now discovered that i only saved it, not published it. technicalities!

i’ve made a resolution (sort of – as much as i ever really make a resolution. they usually are more idealistic concepts than actual plans of action) not to stress so much this week. when i have a hard school week, i always stress more than i study. it appears as though i’ve worked really hard, studying a lot; however, most of my time is spent stressing over what i have to do and how i’m going to do it than actually studying or learning anything. therefore, i’m going to try to be more relaxed this week and just do my studying. no extra stress if possible. we’ll see how that goes…

time is really flying by. which is good, because that means summer vacation is getting closer and closer. but it also means some things are coming to an end. i won’t have the same roommates next year, which i’m trying not to think about as the weeks race past. my classes will be a lot harder next year – yay. and i have no idea what i’m going to do with myself for most of the summer. why is it so hard to make the present enjoyable and not something that we want to be over and done with? and if we are enjoying it, why can’t we make it go by slower?

hmm. time.

lost in a sea of forms…

… or soon to be, at least.

1) i’ve made a decision for housing, but need to fill out applications. that’s painless.

but not so painless…

2) FAFSA. ugh. it’s that time of year again. even though getting any decent federal financial aid is pretty unlikely, i still have to fill out this form so my school can have the information. i really wish the school had it’s own form – the fewer government forms to deal with, the better! the deadline is march 1st (2 days from now) and even worse, to fill this out, you must have also worked on…

3) TAXES, because you need some info from your tax forms. and guess what? i get to pay taxes for the first time this year! i’ve never had to pay taxes before, so it’s a new (and intimidating/overwhelming/scary/frustrating, etc) experience for me. and it’s an experience i’m going to have today, if i am going to fill out the fafsa by march 1st. i feel quite clueless about filling out tax forms at the moment, but i guess i’m about to learn all about it. but the thought of paying taxes (however painful that might be) kind of makes me feel more ‘grown up’ (which i don’t feel very often) in a weird way. kind of like voting. (which i would also like to do today…not sure it will happen. so much for early voting.)  but first i’ve got to be confused and feel like my brain will explode while making confusing calculations and answering 284923847 seemingly contradictory (or just redundant) questions.

but it’s all good.

my token word of encouragement: everything’s going to be okay.